The Way of Life Using the Traditions in our Relationships by Dave & Polly

This is a workshop, the AA Way of Life Using Traditions in Relationships by Dave & Polly.

It is broken down into twelve segments. It is basically to be used for couples but can be used in any way. There is much to be taken from it.

1. Here Dave discusses himself and Polly as alcoholics and the selfishness of the disease.  Restless, irritable, and discontent.  The root of most of alcoholics is the self-centered nature and that causes most of the problems.  Regardless of the drinking problem, even when that is taken away.  The issue is still there and that has to be dealt with or one will never be at peace with oneself or those around them.

2.  The alcoholic literally has to unpeel that onion and view each layer, because each layer has been years in the making. It will often be years in unraveling, but self-knowledge is the start of it all. This is the aspect that is freeing for the alcoholic and actually admitting that they’ve been wrong or not playing the victim will break the chains. In relationships, this will attract the right person and this is what sober alcoholics are seeking.

3.  Intimacy and the marriage are both challenges for the alcoholics as well as for non-alcoholic because many people have been hurt and are not willing to open themselves. The lecturers identify this and the struggles that face individuals as they face these and give strategies them with these. Polly talks about the frustration that occurs when there is the breakdown in communication and the differences in opinion on love.

4.  This is in regards to tradition one. A healthy relationship. This means the glue of unity. Wanting the same thing – being in this relationship. This about having a partnership.

5.  This is on tradition two. About being Gods loving servants and how it applies to letting go NOW to the old ideas we have always held onto. We grew up and saw and learned many things that that just might be wrong, we need to rethink our old ideas. As “loving” servants, we need to serve and not, as men, hold onto the old idea of what men are.

6.  The basic requirement for a good relationship is to make it work. Tradition three. The couple wants to make it work, but also to be autonomous. Independent. The two want each other to be free and there is no interest in wanting to want the other to be under your thing. Judgment and criticism is also not something that should be a part of the relationship.

7.  This skips to tradition six and goes to boundaries. Such as lending money or inviting people to live at the house. Anything that affects the other. Thinking in terms of being a team. Also, the recovery of one another is simply that. Their recovery is theirs.  It is personal. The other person in the couple has to allow the person to grow and fail. One has to encourage and support, but to fall, but to help them when they need to be picked up.

8.  Tradition eight – free and fun! This is key. Taking care of each other because you love each other. That’s just because. Unselfish love is part of the program and simply on the basis of love.

9.  In tradition nine – this is realizing the aspect of being an individual. The basic instinct is wanting things my way. Selfishness once again. Polly discusses the importance of compromise.  Whether compromising on a movie or where to eat. The couple should be able to do this. Sometimes compromises turn-out better than we expected.

10.  Live and let live – Tradition ten – This is about letting others have their own opinions and being happy with it. There should be no room for pushing opinions and letting the other person be happy with what they believe. The aspect again goes back to being selfish and wanting to have it my way.

11.  Eleven – Attraction and promotion through philosophy. There should be no need for convincing through telling but showing. That is where it is at. So many times, like in religion, there is so much pushing one’s beliefs in someone’s face, but not living your belief. It’s about personal attraction and living in joy and happiness.

12.  This is an open forum piece – questions are asked. Questions are asked about relationships. This was an enlightening section.

Listen to AA Workshop – AA Way of Life Using Traditions in Relationships by Dave & Polly and more self improvement audio programs on Audiojoy — download free on iOS or Android.

 

Content Review by Giovanni Skinner